Mid-Piano Presents: The Wall, Undefeated

*RED GARDEN — LOADING — "MID-PIANO PRESENTS." Transcript, unedited, as recorded on whatever was running in the garage that day.*

**TYLER:** We're doing a thing today. Somebody typed `/gta7` into whatever the garage has instead of a search bar and it's been on ever since.

**UNICORN (TEXT CARD):** It's not a search bar. It's a slash command. There's a difference and I will not be explaining it.

**TYLER:** Fine. Before we watch — the story so far, for anyone just tuning in.

---

## THE STORY SO FAR

**GHOST (TEXT CARD, at the piano, not looking up):** Short version. There's a real Minecraft server now. Real DNS, real crossplay, no separate client — you just show up. And on top of it, somebody built the thing our whole garage has apparently been foreshadowing for three episodes without anyone telling us: Field Offices. Claim one, it makes you Flow. Somebody else can open a Contest Window on it and try to take it back. Dogs help. The city gets loud if you're loud, and loud enough brings Enforcement.

**DUCK:** That's the pitch, yes. Also — for legal reasons — I would like a Field Office.

**TYLER:** You don't have hands.

**DUCK:** I have telekinesis. I could claim it from here.

**TYLER:** Nobody's claimed one. Zero. That's not a setup line, that's the actual server log. Every single Field Office system we just described is sitting there, fully built, entirely unclaimed.

**FROG (TEXT CARD):** My understanding is there are also no roads yet.

**TYLER:** ...Also correct. It's real Minecraft terrain — hills, trees, whatever's actually there. Nobody's built a city on top of it yet. It's a GTA game with the "GTA" part still pending, and now also the "claiming things" part.

**TREE:** *(one line, in French, not subtitled)*

**GHOST (TEXT CARD):** And that's why we don't ask the Tree.

---

## LIVE COMMENTARY, AS THE FOUNDER PLAYS

*A screen comes up. GarbageMan4147 — confirmed, per the garage's own sources, to be the founder — is on. GARY, whose entire kit is watching a bridge very well, has been drafted for commentary on the theory that watching things is a transferable skill. What follows is not dramatized. This is what the log actually says.*

**GARY:** She's moving. No Beacon in sight yet. Lot of open ground.

**TYLER:** Any Field Offices claimed?

**GARY:** Still zero. Server-wide. She's not close to one, but also — nobody is. This whole system is just sitting here.

**DUCK:** So she hasn't even seen a Beacon.

**GARY:** Correction — she's slain by a Husk.

**TYLER:** That's not a correction, that's a completely different sentence.

**GARY:** She's back up. Moving again. Slain by a Husk. Again.

**PIZZA (TEXT CARD):** Same Husk?

**GARY:** Unconfirmed. Could be a rotation. She's placed a broadcast TV — `/gta7tv`, real command, real screen, right there in the world. First real feature she's actually used.

**UNICORN (TEXT CARD):** That counts! That's a whole system! She engaged with a system!

**GARY:** Blown up by a Creeper.

**UNICORN (TEXT CARD):** ...She disengaged from the system.

**GARY:** Shot by a Parched. Slain by a Drowned. Shot by a Skeleton. Slain by — this is going to take a while, there's a lot of Husks in this log.

**FROG (TEXT CARD):** I know the secret to time travel and even I think this log is taking a while.

**GARY:** Blown up by a Creeper. Blown up by a *second* Creeper, eighteen seconds later.

**DOC WHEEL (TEXT CARD):** Two Creepers. That's not bad luck, that's a pattern.

**GARY:** Slain by an Enderman. Slain by a Zombie. Slain by a Spider. Blown up by a third Creeper.

**TYLER:** How many Field Offices has she claimed in all this.

**GARY:** Still zero. Genuinely, zero. Whole session. She's died more times than the entire Field Office system has been touched by anyone, ever, and it's not close.

**DUCK:** What's the final score.

**GARY:** ...She suffocated. In a wall. Not a cave-in — just a wall, that was already there, stationary, not doing anything, and she ended up inside it.

**GHOST (TEXT CARD):** How.

**GARY:** The log doesn't say how. The log just says it happened.

---

## OUT

**TYLER:** So: real game, real broadcast TV, zero Field Offices claimed by anyone on the entire server, and a wall with a body count now.

**FROG (TEXT CARD):** For the record — I called the no-roads thing before anyone else did.

**TYLER:** You did. Put it on the van.

**DOC WHEEL (TEXT CARD):** There's a van?

**TYLER:** There's always a van.

**TYLER:** *(to camera, or whatever the garage has instead of one)* We're Mid-Piano. The wall won. Every round, so far.